September 25, 2011

Function of Pointless Bravery Unrevealed

Please use the rails for getting on the Ferry
SUMMARY: In a screen for mutations that modify line-making paralysis (LMP) disorder, we discovered novel genes that may explain the persistence of the line-making gene in Turkish population. In our analysis, we found that line-making (lim) is downstream of genes involved in follow-the-rules (FR) pathway, and that several genes in this pathway are either missing or mutated in Turkish population. Despite normal vision, auditory acuity and adequate ability to read and write, Turkish people are unable to form lines, tell the truth, properly wear helmet, wait in traffic or care for safety.

Do Not Turn Left
In addition, we compared the entire Turkish genome to genomes of other cultures and found that Turks have extra copies of pointless bravery (pob) gene, a gene formerly associated with Darwin award winners. We made transgenic mice that lack the lim gene and found no behavioral or anatomical abnormalities. However, when mice lacking the lim gene was introduced extra copies of the pob gene, they attacked researchers: an observation which may explain Turkey's current stand against Israel.

... Absolutely Do Not Enter
Although all Turks lack the lim gene, they vary in number of copies of the pob gene. Turks that are able to survive in Europe or in US have 2-3 copies of pob (1%) while those that are actively involved in organized crime (68%) have 15 or more copies. Rest of the population fall somewhere between these numbers and have various problems in following the rules. Since members of the Parliament have legal immunity, we were unable to determine the number of pob copies in their genome. Overall, our studies demonstrate a genetic link between lim and pob, and suggest a mechanism for development of drugs targeted to cure LMP and decrease defraud in Turkey.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: The author claims no conflict of interest and thanks her friend A.U. for providing free internet by hacking WPA2 Personal passwords of everyone in her building.

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