How to Gain 10 Pounds in 4 Days

With this diet here, you will gain 10 pounds in 4 days, and with only 2 meals and a snack a day! Guaranteed to get you those love handles you long for!!!

Here is the deal. First, buy a ticket to İstanbul. Second, have a friend (or family) serve you breakfast. Don't worry if you have neither, as there are many places in Istanbul that will serve you a full Turkish breakfast. Third, make sure you drink tea after each meal or with every snack. Fourth and most important, eat lots and lots of bread. So, here we go...

Day 1:

Have lots of tea during breakfast

Have a full course Turkish breakfast: tomato and cucumber salad with olive oil, two kinds of peynir (cheese), olives, couple of simits (Turkish bagel), çay (black tea), tahin pekmez (tahini with grape molasses) and sucuklu yumurta (scrambled eggs with sausage).

For snack: Profiterol at İnci Pastanesi in Beyoğlu, Taksim. Ask for extra chocolate sauce.

Dinner: Lentil soup, pide (pita bread) and kıymalı mantı (dumplings with minced meat) at Fıccın in Beyoğlu, Taksim.

Day 2:

Full course Turkish breakfast: same as above, substitute sucuklu yumurta with crepes and add salami.

Dinner and snack: Have ezme salad, and two lahmacuns (Turkish pizza) at Çiya in Kadıköy. Order künefe for dessert along with tea.

Black sea region cuisine at Hayvore

Day 3: 

Full course Turkish breakfast: same as day 1, substitute sucuklu yumurta with börek (pastry with cheese). 

Snack: same as day 1.

Dinner: Have mıhlama (melted butter and cheese), corn bread and hamsi cooked in tomato sauce (anchovies) with rice pilaf at Hayvore in Beyoğlu, Taksim. 

Day 4: 

Midye tava: ask for extra tarator sauce

Full course Turkish breakfast: same as day 1, substitute simits with çatal (sold at any pastry shop or simit booths outside). 

Snack: Choice of artichoke quiche or Budapest dessert with tea at any Remzi Kitabevi coffee shop.

Dinner: Midye tava (fried mussels) with Efes beer at Mercan Büfe in Kadıköy.

Şerefe and afiyet olsun!

Notes:

Çiya Restaurant: Elif Batuman from the New Yorker has a delicious article on Çiya. The owner is also the editor and founder of a monthly magazine, Yemek ve Kültür (Food and Culture), that publishes articles on the history of food and cuisine, along with forgotten recipes of Asia Minor and the Ottomans.

Hayvore Restaurant: Meaning "I am here" in Laz language of Black Sea region in Turkey, this restaurant serves daily meals from that region. 

Fıccın Restaurant: Serving Circassian food, and with three of their restaurants on the same row, half of Kallavi Street in Beyoğlu is occupied by the tables of Fıccın.
Mercan Büfe: I don't know the history of this place, but they have been in the same location in Kadıköy Bazaar since my high school years. I probably tasted my first underage beer here. They are also famous with their kokoreç, goat intestines served in half-bread with peppers and tomatoes. Never tried and never will.

At İnci: Find a table before you pay!

İnci Pastanesi: Founded in 1944 by an Albanian named Licos Zigoridis, the shop has no other branch and is always packed with customers in line. No offense to French people but Mr. Zigoridis claims to be the inventor of profiterol (both the recipe and its name). Not a big fan of profiterol myself, I stop at İnci every time I am in Beyoğlu and pay a tribute to Mr. Zigoridis for his finger-licking invention.